Another vent post, sorry
I don’t feel happy
I hate being alive
Everything I do is just prolonging my suffering
I don’t know how to reach out without feeling like I’ll make things worse
I feel like I’m constantly gasping and fighting to take a breath
I just want to curl into a ball and disappear but I keep trying to meet with friends to maintain the relationship because I know that if I don’t the relationships will just fall apart and I’ll be left even more alone
But it’s so fucking exhausting, I’m struggling to put on the facade of normalcy enough for people to be willing to keep me around
I hate it, I hate it so fucking much
I want the pain to stop
I’m fine, I’m not going to kill myself. I have a safety plan and crisis resources. If it gets too bad I have no issues going to hospital